TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-12-25
APPROVED
Insurance Denial Ian
Strength85
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique98
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Insurance Denial Ian VS The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
120Strength
100Speed
20Endurance
60Technique
52.7Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
11Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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