TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-13-25
APPROVED
Hot Dog Roller Helena
Strength78
Speed85
Endurance84
Technique88
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread50
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Hot Dog Roller Helena VS Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
66Strength
78Speed
87Endurance
91Technique
2.1Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Hot Dog Roller Helena
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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