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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, August 13, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Strength95
Speed65
Endurance88
Technique75
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread10
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Arnold Schwarzenegger VS Brian Littrell
Brian Littrell

Brian Littrell

50Strength
75Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.6Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule