TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-13-25
APPROVED
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Strength78
Speed94
Endurance69
Technique88
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread30
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Jean-Claude Van Damme VS The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
121Strength
102Speed
23Endurance
62Technique
52.7Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
11Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems