TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-26-25
APPROVED
Kirk Hammett
Strength75
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique98
Molecular Density2.6
Existential Dread50
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Kirk Hammett VS The Submitted for Approval
The Submitted for Approval
70Strength
95Speed
80Endurance
88Technique
2.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Submitted for Approval
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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