TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-26-25
APPROVED
Just Five More Minutes
Strength50
Speed40
Endurance90
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Just Five More Minutes VS Troll King Tommy
Troll King Tommy
70Strength
90Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.5Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Troll King Tommy
Violence concluded.
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