TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-21-25
APPROVED
Reset Link Randy
Strength70
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique95
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Reset Link Randy VS Muted Mike "Can You Hear Me Now"
Muted Mike "Can You Hear Me Now"
45Strength
75Speed
95Endurance
88Technique
1.4Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Reset Link Randy
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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