TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-26-25
APPROVED
Lance Bass
Strength45
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lance Bass VS James Hetfield
James Hetfield
90Strength
75Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
3.8Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Lance Bass
Violence concluded.
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