TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-22-25
APPROVED
Clearance Rack Rachel
Strength60
Speed95
Endurance75
Technique88
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Clearance Rack Rachel VS Hornswoggle
Hornswoggle
55Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
80Technique
1.6Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Clearance Rack Rachel
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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