TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-23-25
APPROVED
Fart Sniffer Supreme
Strength40
Speed50
Endurance45
Technique65
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread90
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fart Sniffer Supreme VS Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious"
Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious"
70Strength
95Speed
75Endurance
80Technique
2.3Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Drive-Thru Donna "Fast and Furious"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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