TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-23-25
APPROVED
Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor"
Strength42
Speed69
Endurance60
Technique84
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread95
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Grad Student Gary "Unpaid Labor" VS The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
132Strength
109Speed
40Endurance
69Technique
52.7Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
11Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With
Violence concluded.
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