TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-26-25
APPROVED
Wedgie Magnet
Strength35
Speed60
Endurance55
Technique55
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread88
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Wedgie Magnet VS Ravioli Revolution
Ravioli Revolution
75Strength
88Speed
78Endurance
85Technique
2.5Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Ravioli Revolution
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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