TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-25-25
APPROVED
Fart Sniffer Supreme
Strength40
Speed50
Endurance45
Technique65
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread90
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fart Sniffer Supreme VS Baby Triumphant
Baby Triumphant
35Strength
60Speed
30Endurance
98Technique
0.8Molecular Density
5Existential Dread
5Fingers
5Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fart Sniffer Supreme
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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