TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-26-25
APPROVED
Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
Strength50
Speed92
Endurance60
Technique95
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread78
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Instagram Ian "Content Creator" VS Slosh Gulp
Slosh Gulp
60Strength
75Speed
80Endurance
85Technique
1.4Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Slosh Gulp
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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