TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-27-25
APPROVED
Slosh Gulp
Strength60
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique85
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Slosh Gulp VS Mayhem Breakfast
Mayhem Breakfast
75Strength
88Speed
72Endurance
91Technique
1.9Molecular Density
87Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mayhem Breakfast
Violence concluded.
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