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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, August 27, 2025 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
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Strength71
Speed71
Endurance84
Technique74
Molecular Density92.3
Existential Dread93
Fingers1
Toes19
TALE OF THE TAPE
--- VS Dank Dill
Dank Dill

Dank Dill

75Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
75Technique
45.2Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

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Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule