TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-27-25
APPROVED
Just Five More Minutes
Strength50
Speed40
Endurance90
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Just Five More Minutes VS Essential Oil Olivia
Essential Oil Olivia
60Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
92Technique
1.5Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Essential Oil Olivia
Violence concluded.
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