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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, August 27, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney

Strength55
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Paul McCartney VS Penne for Your Thoughts
Penne for Your Thoughts

Penne for Your Thoughts

70Strength
80Speed
80Endurance
90Technique
2.2Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Penne for Your Thoughts
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule