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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Sunday, July 27, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Comfort Gecko

Comfort Gecko

Strength50
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density0.3
Existential Dread40
Fingers4
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
Comfort Gecko VS Reset Link Randy
Reset Link Randy

Reset Link Randy

70Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
95Technique
2.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
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