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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Sunday, July 27, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Social Anxiety Sam

Social Anxiety Sam

Strength38
Speed45
Endurance52
Technique72
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread95
Fingers6
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Social Anxiety Sam VS Autoplay Assassin
Autoplay Assassin

Autoplay Assassin

75Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
2.0Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
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