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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-29-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 29, 2025 at 8:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Ringo Starr

Ringo Starr

Strength45
Speed70
Endurance70
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread40
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Ringo Starr VS Swole Patroll
Swole Patroll

Swole Patroll

98Strength
70Speed
95Endurance
65Technique
4.2Molecular Density
8Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Swole Patroll
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule