TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-29-25
APPROVED
First Sunday
Strength95
Speed120
Endurance20
Technique65
Molecular Density81.2
Existential Dread25
Fingers15
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
First Sunday VS Verne Troyer
Verne Troyer
35Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
1.1Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
First Sunday
Violence concluded.
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