TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-01-25
APPROVED
Depression Bear
Strength95
Speed45
Endurance95
Technique70
Molecular Density4.1
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Depression Bear VS John Cena
John Cena
95Strength
85Speed
90Endurance
80Technique
3.1Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
John Cena
Violence concluded.
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