TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-01-25
APPROVED
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Strength85
Speed70
Endurance88
Technique98
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare" VS Polymer McGillicuddy
Polymer McGillicuddy
88Strength
75Speed
91Endurance
80Technique
4.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Violence concluded.
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