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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, September 2, 2025 at 3:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Reply Guy Rick

Reply Guy Rick

Strength32
Speed74
Endurance59
Technique73
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Reply Guy Rick VS Professor Punches
Professor Punches

Professor Punches

97Strength
86Speed
99Endurance
103Technique
3.1Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Professor Punches
Violence concluded.
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