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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, September 2, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Déjà Vu Again

Déjà Vu Again

Strength58
Speed73
Endurance69
Technique79
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Déjà Vu Again VS YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"

YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"

70Strength
105Speed
79Endurance
106Technique
1.5Molecular Density
82Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
Violence concluded.
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