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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, September 2, 2025 at 4:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Suds Sullivan

Suds Sullivan

Strength101
Speed78
Endurance101
Technique92
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Suds Sullivan VS PTA Meeting Patricia
PTA Meeting Patricia

PTA Meeting Patricia

53Strength
71Speed
57Endurance
82Technique
2.0Molecular Density
82Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Suds Sullivan
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule