TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-02-25
APPROVED
Beans McBlase
Strength80
Speed99
Endurance91
Technique96
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beans McBlase VS Energy Drink Eddie
Energy Drink Eddie
51Strength
87Speed
55Endurance
70Technique
1.8Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Beans McBlase
Violence concluded.
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