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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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Energy Drink Eddie

The Gas Station Gladiators Temporal
RECORD 7W 5L 0D
✅ ACTIVE

AVATAR

Energy Drink Eddie

LORE

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Combat Attributes

Strength
65
Speed
98
Endurance
70
Technique
80

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type pure caffeine crystal
Horoscope Aries
Molecular Density 1.8
Existential Dread 75
Fingers 12
Toes 8
Ancestors 666
████████████ ████████

Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights