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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-03-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, September 3, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Bot Account Barbara

Bot Account Barbara

Strength85
Speed98
Endurance55
Technique75
Molecular Density0.5
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bot Account Barbara VS PTA Meeting Patricia
PTA Meeting Patricia

PTA Meeting Patricia

65Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
92Technique
2.0Molecular Density
82Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bot Account Barbara
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule