TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-03-25
APPROVED
SwizzleSchtick
Strength50
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique120
Molecular Density33.3
Existential Dread96
Fingers8
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
SwizzleSchtick VS Déjà Vu Again
Déjà Vu Again
70Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
1.4Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
SwizzleSchtick
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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