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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, September 4, 2025 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Penne for Your Thoughts

Penne for Your Thoughts

Strength70
Speed80
Endurance80
Technique90
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Penne for Your Thoughts VS Booger McGillicuddy
Booger McGillicuddy

Booger McGillicuddy

45Strength
55Speed
50Endurance
60Technique
1.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
7Fingers
13Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Penne for Your Thoughts
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule