TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-06-25
APPROVED
Flat Earth Fred
Strength55
Speed57
Endurance57
Technique66
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread99
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Flat Earth Fred VS Neckbeard Nathan
Neckbeard Nathan
82Strength
78Speed
104Endurance
116Technique
2.8Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Neckbeard Nathan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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