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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-06-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, September 6, 2025 at 3:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Teflon Moonbeam

Teflon Moonbeam

Strength80
Speed85
Endurance81
Technique88
Molecular Density3.7
Existential Dread70
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Teflon Moonbeam VS Troll King Tommy
Troll King Tommy

Troll King Tommy

70Strength
90Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.5Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Teflon Moonbeam
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule