TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-06-25
APPROVED
Sausage Festival
Strength75
Speed55
Endurance76
Technique59
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread22
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sausage Festival VS Autoplay Assassin
Autoplay Assassin
87Strength
105Speed
84Endurance
94Technique
2.0Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Autoplay Assassin
Violence concluded.
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