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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, September 27, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Beef Injection

Beef Injection

Strength94
Speed86
Endurance90
Technique81
Molecular Density3.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beef Injection VS Gross Gary
Gross Gary

Gross Gary

75Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
65Technique
2.3Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Beef Injection
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule