TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
07-29-25
APPROVED
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
Strength75
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique85
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network" VS The Last Two Percent
The Last Two Percent
98Strength
97Speed
99Endurance
100Technique
0.0Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
2Fingers
0Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Last Two Percent
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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