TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-29-25
APPROVED
SwizzleSchtick
Strength50
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique120
Molecular Density33.3
Existential Dread96
Fingers8
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
SwizzleSchtick VS Trash Expander
Trash Expander
81Strength
121Speed
57Endurance
51Technique
72.9Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
13Fingers
14Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Trash Expander
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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