TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-29-25
APPROVED
Spreadsheet Specter
Strength51
Speed62
Endurance83
Technique114
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Spreadsheet Specter VS PowerPoint Paul “The Closer”
PowerPoint Paul “The Closer”
60Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
90Technique
2.6Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Spreadsheet Specter
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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