TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-03-25
APPROVED
Febreze Frank “The Freshmaker”
Strength71
Speed82
Endurance71
Technique81
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread10
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Febreze Frank “The Freshmaker” VS Dust Bunny Dominator
Dust Bunny Dominator
89Strength
57Speed
80Endurance
69Technique
1.7Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dust Bunny Dominator
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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