TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-03-25
APPROVED
Lottery Ticket Larry
Strength60
Speed60
Endurance95
Technique98
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lottery Ticket Larry VS Caps Lock Carl
Caps Lock Carl
90Strength
70Speed
90Endurance
60Technique
3.2Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Caps Lock Carl
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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