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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, October 4, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Bot Account Barbara

Bot Account Barbara

Strength85
Speed98
Endurance55
Technique75
Molecular Density0.5
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bot Account Barbara VS Nasty Nick
Nasty Nick

Nasty Nick

68Strength
73Speed
61Endurance
78Technique
1.9Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bot Account Barbara
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule