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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-06-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, October 6, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Spreadsheet Specter

Spreadsheet Specter

Strength50
Speed60
Endurance80
Technique110
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Spreadsheet Specter VS Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming"
Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming"

Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming"

85Strength
75Speed
70Endurance
70Technique
2.2Molecular Density
89Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Spreadsheet Specter
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule