TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-06-25
APPROVED
Beta Tester Bob
Strength80
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread36
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beta Tester Bob VS The Thing in the Air Ducts
The Thing in the Air Ducts
70Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
0.7Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
6Fingers
4Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Beta Tester Bob
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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