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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-06-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, October 6, 2025 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Loch Ness Monster

Loch Ness Monster

Strength83
Speed70
Endurance76
Technique71
Molecular Density28.4
Existential Dread62
Fingers15
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Loch Ness Monster VS Derek Moneyberg
Derek Moneyberg

Derek Moneyberg

71Strength
71Speed
86Endurance
72Technique
57.2Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
13Fingers
12Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Derek Moneyberg
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule