TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-08-25
APPROVED
Gas Berger
Strength117
Speed99
Endurance46
Technique28
Molecular Density19.0
Existential Dread82
Fingers9
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gas Berger VS Swisher Sweet
Swisher Sweet
75Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
75Technique
28.4Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
12Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Swisher Sweet
Violence concluded.
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