TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-11-25
APPROVED
Punchin Bag
Strength23
Speed43
Endurance121
Technique123
Molecular Density33.6
Existential Dread49
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Punchin Bag VS Bacon Windfall
Bacon Windfall
94Strength
74Speed
86Endurance
84Technique
2.8Molecular Density
18Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Bacon Windfall
Violence concluded.
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