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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-11-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, October 11, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Snack Attack Stan

Snack Attack Stan

Strength70
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique70
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Snack Attack Stan VS Polymer McGillicuddy
Polymer McGillicuddy

Polymer McGillicuddy

90Strength
80Speed
100Endurance
84Technique
4.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Polymer McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule