TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-13-25
APPROVED
Nancy From HR
Strength67
Speed90
Endurance85
Technique68
Molecular Density83.0
Existential Dread100
Fingers12
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nancy From HR VS Dr. Membrane PhD
Dr. Membrane PhD
34Strength
67Speed
81Endurance
118Technique
0.9Molecular Density
73Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Nancy From HR
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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