TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-20-25
APPROVED
Dean of Discipline
Strength85
Speed65
Endurance95
Technique90
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dean of Discipline VS Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
85Strength
70Speed
88Endurance
98Technique
3.2Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dean of Discipline
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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